What Do Narcissists Find Incredibly Attractive In A Person With Borderline Personality Disorder
The intricate tango of human relations often reveals surprising connections and enticements that are as fascinating as they can be a bit puzzling. One of these mysterious dynamics is between those with narcissistic characteristics and those who struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Although these two personality types may appear like opposites, they are attracted to one another in a way that could be both attractive and volatile. This article explores the intricate relationship between narcissists and those suffering from BPD by shedding light on the causes behind this attraction and the potential consequences of these unions.
By unraveling this intriguing connection’s layers, We hope to understand the dynamics at work and identify the possibilities for change and growth for all parties involved.
Narcissism is a term from the Greek myth of Narcissus. It refers to the distinct set of character characteristics characterized by an elaborate belief in oneself, an endless desire to be admired, and a lack of compassion towards others. People with narcissistic traits typically desire to become the centre and center of the attention. They believe to be unique and worthy of the attention they deserve.
The narcissism that drives us is a low self-esteem, which requires constant affirmation and validation from others. The desire for validation may manifest in different ways, like seeking out praise, admiration or even envy from people in their vicinity. Narcissists might project an image of charisma and confidence, but underneath lies an unsettling vulnerability that drives their insatiable desire for external approval.
Narcissists tend to create an idealized self-image. Often, they exaggerate their accomplishments, talents, and strengths. The inflated self-image serves as an attempt to ward off feeling of inadequateness or unworthiness. This is why they can indulge in self-promotion and self-aggrandizement to influence the narrative surrounding their self-image.
People with these traits suffer from a lack of empathy, and cannot connect with people in an emotional way. Their interactions are usually transactions, and they view relationships as satisfying their personal needs and desires. It is often masked by self-centeredness and they can be manipulative or exploit others to keep their perception of superiority.
Understanding the complexities of narcissism is essential to understand the relationship between narcissists and people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) since the interaction between these two types of personality can shed light on the complicated dynamic that could be triggered within their relationships.
Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complicated and often misunderstood mental illness characterized by a pattern that manifests high-risk or unstable interpersonal relationships, self-images, emotions, and behavior. Patients who suffer from BPD frequently experience extreme emotional fluctuations, making it challenging to control their emotions and reactions.
One of the most prominent features of BPD is the pervasive fear of abandonment. People suffering from BPD might try to avoid real or perceived abandonment. This can lead to clinginess, impulsivity and intense efforts to maintain relationships. The fear of abandonment can trigger extreme mood swings ranging from happiness to despair, usually over a short period.
People suffering from BPD are also struggling with identity and self-esteem. They might have a disorganized self-image and are insecure about their objectives, values and personal style. This could lead to feelings of emptyness or inner confusion, which can cause people to seek out validation and encouragement from others in order to fill the emotional gap.
The tendency to be impulsive is a common characteristic of BPD. People are prone to engaging in risky actions like substance abuse, reckless driving self-harm, or overspending to deal with their emotional turmoil. These reckless actions usually temporarily relieve emotional turmoil, but they could cause further problems in the end.
Extreme lows and highs often characterise personal relationships for people with BPD. They might initially idolize others by judging them as perfect and placing them on a tower. However, this idealization may quickly change to devaluation, in which the person is perceived as a total failure and not worthy. The fluctuation between devaluation and idealization could create tension and cause the anxiety experienced by people who suffer from BPD.
BPD can be a source of the possibility of recovery. Therapeutic interventions, like psychotherapy for dialectical behaviors (DBT), can help people learn to manage the intensity of their emotions and improve their interpersonal relationships, and help develop a more positive self-image. Understanding the issues confronted by people suffering from BPD is crucial in figuring out the intricate connection to narcissists. helping to understand why two distinct personalities could attract each other.
A Conversation: The Reasons people with BPD attract Narcissists
The fascinating attraction between narcissists and people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is due to an intricate interaction of similar qualities and psychological aspects.
While these personality types might appear different, they frequently encounter each other through a fascinating, but tumultuous dance. This section explains the fundamental motives and motivations that motivate people to be narcissists toward those with BPD.
Complementary Qualities and Patterns
Validation and Attention
Narcissists crave admiration and validation, constantly seeking encouragement to build their self-esteem. People suffering from BPD who are driven by a fear of being abandoned tend to provide an extreme level of emotional involvement and attention which inadvertently provides the person who is narcissist with assurance and attention.
Idealization and Devaluation
The cycle of devaluation and apprehension typical of BPD relationships is in line with the narcissist’s traits. The initial idealization stage aligns with the narcissist’s needs to be admired, while the next phase of devaluation mirrors their desire to throw away and reduce their value when their needs are not being met.
Emotional Needs and Vulnerabilities
People with BPD have extreme emotional turmoil, creating an atmosphere of intense emotional drama. This is in line with Narcissists’ desire for stimulation and excitement which draws them towards the emotional rollercoaster BPD people can offer.
Dependency and Fear of Abandonment
The fear of being abandoned prevalent in BPD people may align with the narcissist’s insecurity. The BPD person’s capacity to become emotionally dependent coincides with the narcissist’s need to keep control and power inside the marriage.
Supply and Control
BPD people, with their tendency to experience emotional highs and lows can be the narcissist with a continuous supply. The praise, attention, and emotional reactions they give can feed the narcissist’s constant desire for attention and validation.
Control and Manipulation
The power of manipulation and control often attracts narcissists. They may be satisfied being in control of people who are emotionally fragile and able to flex to their demands. This could be a hallmark of those who suffer from BPD.
Narcissists might see a part of themselves during the initial idealization stage in an encounter with someone suffering from BPD. The BPD individual’s desire to place the narcissist in a position of authority may reflect the self-perception of the narcissist of grandeur.
Validation of Self-Worth
The desire for validation common to both types of personality can result in a mutual affirmation cycle. Narcissists can find validation in the intense emotional reactions for BPD people, whereas the BPD person might be reassured by the praise and appreciation received from the Narcissist.
The Cycle of Attraction and Repulsion
Narcissists’ relationship and those who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) usually follow a predictable pattern with phases of intense attraction, followed by anger and. The whirlwind of behaviors and emotions creates a dynamic simultaneously enthralling and turbulent. Understanding the various stages of this cycle can shed light on the complexity of their interconnection.
The Initial Magnetic Pull
The cycle usually begins with a period of intense romanticization. Narcissists are drawn to the BPD person’s intense emotional state acceptance, validation, and the sense of being loved and admired.
Validation and Admiration
The BPD person will, in turn, be attracted by the narcissist’s charisma confidence, confidence, and the initial show of admiration and attention. This confirms their worth, and temporarily lessens their anxiety about being abandoned.
Escalation and Conflict
As the relationship grows as the relationship progresses, the differences in their character traits are more evident. The narcissist’s need to control and admiration conflicts with the BPD person’s emotional instability and fear of abandonment.
Idealization to Devaluation
The BPD person’s image of a narcissist could shift towards disapproval as they observe self-centered or manipulative behaviors. This can trigger the narcissist’s anxiety about being the center of the spotlight, which can lead to the possibility of a power struggle.
The Inevitable Fallout
Devaluation and Discard
The BPD individual’s increasing discontent and the narcissist’s desire for constant validation can result in depression and emotional withdrawal. The narcissist might seek validation elsewhere, and the BPD person feels rejected and abandoned.
The BPD person’s fear of being abandoned grows, leading to feelings of emotional stress and possibly aggressive behavior. In the meantime, the narcissist’s withdrawal could be met with desperate efforts of people with BPD person to get their focus.
Destructive Patterns and Consequences
The complex interplay between narcissists and people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) frequently creates destructive behaviors and repercussions that profoundly affect both the people affected. In developing an initial love affair into a turbulent relationship several negative outcomes may emerge, shining some light on the fragile nature of their relationship.
Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting
Narcissists could profit from the BPD vulnerableness and emotional sensitivity to gain own advantage. They can employ manipulative techniques to control the relationship and establish authority.
Narcissists can alter the BPD individual’s view of the world, which can cause people to question their feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Gaslighting can exacerbate the BPD person’s anxiety and reduce self-confidence.
Emotional Exploitation and Turmoil
The narcissist’s insatiable need to be admired and admired could lead to the emotional abuse of the BPD person’s extreme emotions. The BPD person’s emotional responses are a source of an narcissistic source, resulting in the cycle of emotional turmoil.
Heightened Emotional Distress
The BPD sufferer’s fear of abandonment is further aggravated by the narcissist’s frequent withdrawal and manipulative behavior. This can increase their emotional stress and trigger impulse-driven behaviors or self-destructive traits.
Cycle of Idealization and Devaluation
The narcissist’s desire to be idealized and then deny is in tune with the BPD individual’s cycles of intense emotions. This cycle of behavior increases the emotional rollercoaster that both of them.
It is believed that the BPD person’s self-esteem is affected due to the narcissist’s erratic behavior and inconstant confirmation. The continuous oscillation between devaluation and idealization causes people questioning their self-worth.
The intriguing attraction between narcissists and people who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) uncovers a complex interaction of psychological elements that affect their needs, desires, and weaknesses that are the basis of their relationship. Although initially attractive the relationship, it often turns into a chaotic spiral of love and rejection marked by destructive habits and negative consequences.
The interplay of narcissistic traits and BPD traits creates an environment fed by confidence control, authority emotion, and control. The narcissist’s insatiable desire to be admired is matched by the BPD person’s extreme emotions and need to be validated, creating an initial pull to attract. However, this relationship can quickly turn into gaslighting, manipulation of emotions and exploitation of emotions, leaving both parties in a vicious cycle of conflict.
The cycles’ repeated devaluation and idealization phases can cause anxiety, reduce self-esteem, and exacerbate codependency. The consequences of this complicated interaction can be emotionally and physically exhausting to both the selfish and BPD, promoting unhealthy patterns and causing more dysfunction.
Removing yourself from this vicious cycle requires self-reflection, awareness and a commitment to personal development. For the narcissists, it is about confronting their manipulative traits, cultivating empathy, and seeking validation from more healthy sources. BPD sufferers may benefit from developing emotional control skills, developing self-esteem independent of external validation and seeking therapy to manage their emotional turmoil.